I knew I’d struggle not having a job. I don’t like being bored. Boredom and sadness go hand in hand for me I’m sure it’s the same for most people. From the first few days of being off, I very quickly lost interest in things that, while I was working, I spent so much time craving. I had little interest in games (compared to normal, anyway. World of Warcraft was the only game that really kept my attention, and I’m even sick of that now.) I didn’t want to leave the house, which made me resent my dog because I had to leave the house to walk him. I didn’t want to do my coursework, I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to listen to music. I just sat there.
I say didn’t, I still don’t want to do most of these things. I’m listening to music again, but I’d say 90% of my music listening-to is the same My Chemical Romance playlist on repeat. I still hate walking the dog, but that’s because he’s a pain in the arse, and wants to eat everything in sight. Continue reading
When I was in my final year of university, I was asked to put forward a 5-year-plan. (Coincidently, this marks my five years and I haven’t done too badly!) In the discussion, the topic of location came up – and I firmly stated I wanted to stay in the North. For me, I had enough going on in Liverpool outside of theatre world to stay; I was involved with a local rugby club I’d helped from the early days, I worked in a small studio theatre which I loved with all my heart, I had my friends and family around me, and I was working with a group of people who liked me, and I liked them. Why would I want to go elsewhere? I was happy where I was. I wasn’t planning to risk that just to say I worked in London. People seem to think that all theatre practitioners aspire to the West End, but I had no such desires. The only time I wanted to be near the West End for work was when Cursed Child was announced – and as time went on and I had to defend myself each time I had to explain why I had no desire to go to London, something inside me grew to hate the idea of working in London.
I am nosey, there’s no two ways about it. I love seeing what other people have bought, what other people got for their birthdays, what their houses look like and especially posts where people give a run down on what’s in their bag. There’s something I find really interesting about seeing what people carry around with them day-to-day! I decided to write a bag post myself, but it was incredibly dull. I don’t have anything interesting in my day-to-day bag, just the normal things like a purse, my phone, a notebook, a pen…..nothing fun or fancy to make the post worth the time.
At some point during the last month, it dawned on me that if the theatre I currently work in suddenly stopped needing staff, I wouldn’t get a job elsewhere.
I love my job, I love the people I get to work with, I LOVE being on show call – but if I had to start again anew, with people I didn’t know, I don’t think I could. While I had 3 months of unemployment over the summer, I made no effort to find work with other companies because I was so scared. What if they didn’t like me? What if I’m actually rubbish at my job and it turns out I’ve only got this far because of the rest of the team? Continue reading